A Leap of Faith

There’s a time when you have to make a choice between merely existing and  truly living. This year, some of my days at work felt like I was grasping for  air, dying a slow death sitting in my beige-colored cubicle also known as the “office.” Maybe I was worn out from adjusting to the fourth supervisor in two  years. Maybe it was the twenty pounds I gained around my thighs and butt that  cemented the thought that I had to get up and get moving again. Whatever the  reason, I wasn’t happy and I had to make a change. It was time for me to  rediscover my passion for living.

So, after a couple of life-coach sessions and several private “come to Jesus” meetings, I bucked up the courage to step away from my chair and put my plan in  action. One of my interests and hobbies had been lying dormant and losing energy  while I settled into the more “stable” profession of social work and public  health. Could it be that I would need to revisit the idea of singing again? Yup,  not singing in the shower, but singing as a vocation, the profession I’d list on  my taxes and pay my bills with. Ten years ago, I walked away from the  entertainment world because my analytical, thinking self said it had to be wrong  since I was having fun. It had to be wrong since I wasn’t doing what I went to  school for. And finally, it had to be wrong, of course, because my parents disagreed and would  generally prefer if they could keep tabs on me by knowing I was securely  employed.

To be truthful, part of me had Mom and Dad’s concerns too. So just to be  sure, I tried to spice things up a bit by taking on new social activities  purposely to change my life up. But even after this experiment, I came to the  conclusion that what was missing was my voice. Literally. Now, this made me  uncomfortable because it had almost been ten years since I been on stage and  truthfully, I didn’t know if I could still sing well enough to get a callback,  much less book a gig. At least trying would silence the “what ifs” and give me a  reality check if I couldn’t hang anymore.

So, over a period of four months, I went to randomly selected auditions that  would allow me to get to the bottom of the mystery. At the first one, I landed  two callbacks and moved up until the fourth cut. This was a major ego boost  since all I wanted was to be seen and not given the “thanks, but no  thanks” spiel. I didn’t get the part, but I did have the opportunity to hear my  competition and realized I could hang with the best of them with a little work.  I bailed on the next audition due to doubt and nerves. But, after returning to  work again, I realized that if I continued to be lame, I would end up right back  at my beautiful beige desk again … wishing for five o’clock at about … 8:05am  each day. A month later, I showed up at another audition, committed to it, and  got the callback and the final offer!

I leaped at the chance and here I am. After a hectic, crazy, three-week  rehearsal process, working through the kinks, I now sing for my daily bread. For  the most part, I’ve adjusted to being in a new city taking on a new role. I’m  losing weight, I feel lighter emotionally, and simply feel more focused and  driven again. While it definitely wasn’t the easiest decision, it was the right  risk to take even with the angst of making such a huge change. For those of you  wondering, “How could you walk away from all those years of experience and start  all over?” it wasn’t easy. In order to stay current with the latest trends in  health care and counseling, I’m transferring my license and will continue  working contract to keep up my skills. Also, I know that if performing  opportunities begin to wane and the offers dry up, I still have my secret  weapon, my education to fall back on.

If I didn’t take the risk, I’d probably wonder “what if” the rest of my life.  And I’m thankful that I’ve taken one step forward in breaking the terrible habit  of continuing to do things because I can or just because someone else asks me  to. Everyone’s work situation and motives are different, but one thing is true.  Just because you do something well, and you commit to it, doesn’t mean that it’s  your passion. This was an important lesson for me as I realized that I was out  of position, and only a strategic move would help to get me out of the rut.  While your change may not be as extreme as moving out of state to pursue another career, it will require that you plan to make small, medium, and large risks of  your own. I look at it this way, if I never took this leap, I may have never  moved at all. And since I never want to wonder “what if,” now I can say, “what’s  next?!”

Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22277/106817-leap-faith/2#ixzz21n4uOqwd



4 thoughts on “A Leap of Faith

  1. Congrats and awesome news!!! Things had been a little quite over there, but I knew great things were being worked on/out!! All the best, and as always thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks again for blogging this. It really encouraged me to take a major step and I am still taking the steps on my journey to purpose!

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