Certain scriptures stick out in my head. They pop up when I’m struggling and need a reminder of God‘s promises. But every now and then, there’s a different word that stands out and gives me an even greater understanding of what God is saying.
“I will be found by you” declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity. Jeremiah 29:14
The past couple of days I’ve been a hormonal moody mess. The majority of the week left me feeling trapped more than empowered, and definitely un-“able to do all things.” Why wasn’t my life moving? And why wasn’t it working like it should? It wasn’t that I didn’t have ideas but everything fell short. I felt stuck. In my messy captivity. Not that I did anything wrong, or that I was being punished. But nothing was working. And nothing I did made any difference. That’s when I pulled out my Bible and saw the end of Jeremiah 29:14. In my arrogance, I read the verse thinking, “yea, I know what it says, I’ve seen it before a million times.” This time was different because I finally read the end of the scripture. The part where God says “I will bring you out of captivity.”
Then it hit me. Some of the problems I’m dealing with
(created) are not designed for me to easily wiggle my way out of. And with this being the kind of year where I’ve had little to no control ( except in how I react) over things, my first thought as of late is to “I gotta do it on my own.” Which is why nothing was working. Which is why I’ve been exhausted. And tired. And grouchy. I can try, but I can’t do anything on my own. My writing, my work, my singing, cannot be done without the favor of God on my life.
So when I saw the word “captivity”, the stress in my shoulders relaxed because I realized I’ve tried to DO and BE everything on my own. And doing without inviting the One who knows how to DO it best is a futile attempt. I prayed for help. I prayed that God would lift my burdens and remind me that if I honestly call on him, he will answer. Not to give a passer-by prayer, but a real-time, “I need you to help me God because if you don’t, I’m liable to do something stupid really soon” prayer.
As a single woman, I do a lot of things on my own. So I admit I need help letting go and remembering God is the piece of the puzzle that keeps me from being overwhelmed. Unlike Britney says, it’s not me against the world. And unlike Beyonce sings, it’s really not me, myself, and I. And even when I feel trapped, if I just remember to seek God, he’ll bring my out of whatever stressful thing I’ve gotten myself into. Again.