Tag Archive | Hair care

Hair Chronicles: Hairstylists from Hell


I’ve been on a  journey since forsaking the concept of chemicals in my head. I went from the short cut that allowed me to put two dabs of gel in it and go, to the bushy, curly do that sometimes looks confused at what it’s doing.  But one thing hasn’t changed and that’s my luck with NOT  finding a consistent hairdresser. Each time I decided to let my hair grow out for 2-3 months at a time, it would get bigger and bigger. I’m in a  city where it’s not predominantly black so I tried a barber  ’round the corner to have it trimmed. His idea of trimmed was cutting it. Which sucks because I was trying to grow it out!!!!

Take two: I went to a  hairdresser who was more into shaping and trimming who was highly recommended by a coworker. First time out, she was attentive and patient, looking to trim and not cut too much. I went back a second time and I left with it lopsided. WTH? She cut it unevenly and so I felt like I needed to tilt my head to the side or put a piece of weave in to make it even. Sigh… At this point, I stopped going to barbers, beauticians, and decided it is just going to be whatever’s on my head. Why pay someone when they are just going to take me back to the starting point?

Fast forward to one year later. I discovered You Tube, Curly Nikki, all these great hairstyles that I know I can’t create on my own. My hair is now long enough and healthy enough that I decided to try one more time to hook up with someone to play in my head. So….I got on a MeetUp page with natural hair chicks and asked for recommendations. I got two great ones! I made my first appointment and she was so excited to see my hair. She fawned over it talkin’ bout “girl your hair does anything I want it to do, I just love it!” (please remember that response in just one second.) I said that’s great and all but “How much is all that going to cost me?” I mean seriously, one of the reasons I went natural was to save money. She gave me the standard 35.00. Sold! I got a cute hairstyle, which I could sleep on and just wake up and fluff! It  lasted for week so I figured I’d hit her up and go back.

Here comes the hard part. So, when I call you and leave a message you normally respond right? No bueno. She didn’t return my call asking for an appointment in a week.  I checked the number, gave it two days, but figured, this is your bizzz, so why you trippin’? Didn’t you luv my hair? blah, blah? Welp. The problem was I had to go out-of-town and you know how important it is to be appropriately coiffed when flying on da plane. I called back getting desperate. This chick ain’t returning my calls? hmpf! So, I got creative and called the shop and asked for ANYBODY who did natural hair. I got an appointment and let out a deep sign of relief! I needed my hair done and this fool was playin’! So why all of a sudden do I get a call from the MIA stylist two days later asking “I heard you were looking for me.” Of course I was twit! But I calmy said,  “I didn’t know if you were too busy so I went ahead and made an appointment because I needed to get out of town-with my hair done.” She ended up doing my  hair after admitting the other stylist couldn’t do it because she wouldn’t be in the shop. So now, I’m pissed. Is this not your business? And are you still in love with my head like you said you were? I’m quietly seething trying to figure things out when she up and says, regardless of what hair style you get, it’s now $65.  My hair is dripping wet, I have 16 hours before I’m on a plane and I’m looking at Ms. “I can’t call you back to make some money.”

Several thoughts ran through my head. DO I stab her now or wait? Whose going to do my head or will I be in jail so it won’t matter? Man, this chick is trippin’ and I paid her the money. LAST TIME. On the plane, I got home and started looking up the other number for hair stylist. It goes to show that it’s a process to find a hair stylist who not only can do your hair, but is consistent and wants to work. This is why I cut my hair off in the first place. Cue the you tube videos because surfed on the plane before realizing I could do the same thing she was doing to my curls. Of course, it will look different so we are back to only using hairstylist only on special occasions. Ain’t this the jinks? But I’m back to savin’ my coins instead of dealing with idiot businesswomen who only respond to text messages. Sorry for the rant. But I hate unprofessionalism in every area of life!

Hair Chronicles: Weaves, Wigs, and Simple reasons why we should love our own hair. #30in30


(as I write this, please note my wig I wore today is lying next to me on the couch)

I’ll never forget the night I was out on a date, walking in cute jeans rockin’ my  bob wig with the wispy bangs  as we walked downtown to hear friends play at a new jazz club.  I had just taken out my microbraids, had my wig cap on underneath my “alternate do” until I could get an appointment to put my hair back in. Notice how I called “my hair.” I didn’t want to perm my real hair so the wig was the easiest choice to cover my eagle’s nest for the time being.  The wind was blowing so I could only turn my head a certain way. He would make a cute joke, and I’d turn my heard towards him, then quickly back so I could make sure my hair was in place. The wind blew so hard one time, the wig shifted and I had to turn the other way to make sure my  cap wasn’t showing. This was way before the clips and half wigs had made their debut into the hair stores. It was a mess. I can laugh now but back then I was trying to be cute fake giggling/grabbing my hair to make sure it didn’t fly off  and I end up looking like I was getting ready to rob a bank.

My hair has always been up for discussion as I’ve tried one style before going long to short to permed then natural then to wigs to weave and back. Sometimes it’s fun, but other times it’s honestly been traumatic. Hair is a deeply personal part of a woman’s image and for Black women, even more so. Ask a black woman to go swimming and you’ll get two responses. “Sure, it’s easy exercise” or “Hell no, I’m not getting my hair wet!!!” Black women will also rip a woman to shreds based on her kitchen or lack of “combed-ness” when it’s natural. It’s the  “pretty perm or die” chicks who would rather have their hair fall out due to disease than let it be chemical free vs. the “you can’t make me comb my hair like a white girl” natural crew. While we shouldn’t be defined by our hair, we can be wise with how we treat it.

The Grio just published an article about the dangers Black women risk when they continually pull and tug at their hair with braids, too tight weaves, and wigs. The article interviews a dermatologist, Dr. Phoenyx who says, “It’s easy to forget about maintaining your own hair when a weave or wig is on top,” says Dr. Phoenyx. “It’s about taking care of what’s underneath — now you have another layer of hair you pay attention to.”

It’s uncomfortable to see Naomi Campbell’s edges or what’s left, but she ain’t the only one.  Black women continue to cover their heads to the detriment of nurturing their real hair. And this includes women with their own mane of healthy hair adding a piece to give themselves the length they see on many reality shows.  What is it that makes us risk our own hair’s health, the best version of us we could give, to take a short cut and stress our “crown and glory?”

Maybe it’s self-inflicted pressure we put on ourselves to hide the stress and toll of not taking care of our spirit and mind.  Maybe it’s the tendency to try to please the men in our lives. And add to that the fact that we neglect being physically fit to save the $60.00 we spent on the perm and cut and we have an unhealthy (but fly lookin’) woman.

I don’t like to wear wearing wigs because I feel like I’m giving a false presentation. Ask the many men who are sadly disappointed when I show up the next day after a date with my baby fro. But I do experiment from time to time with a new hairstyle  when I’m in a bind or just want to exercise daily and and still need to look together for my auditions and work. Fake hair is an alternative and not the solution.  I don’t know about everybody else, but when my hair is done and  it’s  not a question if it’s mine or some Indian lady from overseas, you can’t tell me nothin’. If there’s any reason to give up the weaves, and wigs though, it’s because we are always the best version of ourselves when we use what’s natural to showcase our beauty. So, the next time the wind is blowing, or your coworker suddenly fawns over your long tresses that appeared overnight, or your friend tells you to try a quick weave, remember your real hair is underneath just begging for a chance to shine. Tell your edges to thank me later.