Tag Archive | Twitter

Mindin’ your Manners on Social Media


By nature, I’m pretty chill and laid back but now and then I get ticked off by bad behavior. Two  weeks ago, the internet was the prime source for people to express their opinions on same-sex marriage, Christianity, attempting to  clown Oprah Winfrey, and naked women just being, naked. Social media allows us to connect in ways we never imagined but it was never to take the place of  face to face  communication.  Here’s a couple of tips on managing social media just to remind us of what it’s for.

We are human beings. We thrive on relationships. Social media makes it really easy to neglect your social skills. But please don’t let it take the place of talking to another person face to face. In other words, don’t ask a person on a date on twitter or Facebook. If you’re really close friends, pick up the phone and call them on their birthday. And when someone passes away, the temptation is easy to send a text  especially if you don’t know what to say, but it’s so much more meaningful to show  you  care when you do it the old-fashioned way.  And my LAWD, don’t break off a relationship or bad mouth your spouse when it ends. It shows respect for your privacy and the other person. (Even if you can’t stand them, no need to let the world in on your drama.) IMO

Mind your manners, please. I’m all for a good debate, but when we gotta “go IN” and take it to the level of buffoonery, we miss the mark of civility. No need to curse anyone out, or randomly vent off topic because you feel some kind of way, because you can always pick up the phone or have a conversation  if you really want to deal with the issue. Now, for the folk that like to get on websites and bully from the keyboard, if you wouldn’t say it to their face, you might want to let it go. Being racist, sexist, or simply disrespectful behind the keyboard is a just being a coward. And while  we all have the right to voice our opinion,  can we stay on topic and address the issue instead of attacking the person? Our Congress has a problem with this too so it’s obvious we all have work to do.

Get a life. Sometimes, the people consumed with social media have forgotten that there are real people out in the world. So, no wonder they have a hard time communicating when they aren’t connected to FB, LinkedIn, twitter, tumbler….etc. Just speculating, but they may have free time to argue with people they will never meet because they aren’t workin’ on stuff in their  own lives. I know firsthand because when I wasn’t working, I could easily be consumed (nosey) with what everyone else was doing. After I applied for jobs online, I would scroll feeds….and read timelines…. and blogs. Nothing to do with ME but in everybody’s biz but my own.  My point is take a break sometimes and get away from the computer. Trust me, it will still be there when you get back. You might even decide you don’t need it anymore.

Sidenote: I wrote this after noticing a couple of guys who wanted to date   became angry and decided to vent and take jabs at me on Facebook. NEVER once was anything addressed with me off-line and I’m fairly good at picking up the phone. As it turns out, you can’t please everyone and most certainly if you act a donkey with me over something minor, I made the right decision. Mind your manners. :)

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I’m tired of folks hitting each other. #30in30


So, I’m on my way home tonight and hear that Chad Johnson had been arrested. For headbutting his wife, Evelyn Lozado. Actually headbutting his wife. Apparently over condoms that either were hers or his. It irritates me to no end to hear this because my first thought was, I can see her hitting him over this too.Was that wrong? Probably, but as a counselor, I’ve learned from experience that men AND women are aggressors in their relationships. So, for five seconds, I thought Chad is dead wrong for this. But then I remembered how aggressive and confrontational “Ev” could be in general. It’s a mixed bag of tomfoolery. But my major concern is……why has physical abuse become so commonplace in relationships? Full disclosure, I’ve been mistreated in relationships before, but never physically hit or threatened. It’s just not something I would tolerate even if it meant I would have to be alone. But for many, it’s become something we now accept and think is normal. I cringed as I wrote that last sentence because it’s true. We argue, state our point, may raise our voice and even become dramatic. But, when the point that I feel physically threatened comes, I’m gone. But not every woman takes this stance. And some are also of the belief that I will fight you if you fight me. It’s all a big mess, because as roles change, we take on different personas and are independent as women by choice or by force. But, one thing is clear to me, it’s a dangerous pattern that continues to grow out of control. I’ve seen women hit while pregnant, men punched by their wives, and fighting become the common way to deal with  conflict. I will never forget my freshman year of college when walking across campus witnessing a woman beating her boyfriend up in public. He took it, obviously embarrassed, but I don’t know how their relationship continued. I don’t know the details of Chad and Ev’s relationship, but I do know that a healthy relationship requires trust along with the ability to respect their body and personal space even when arguing. Since Evelyn and Chad already had a strange relationship where she expected him to inform her  if he decided to have sex with another female, this headbutting incident takes the dysfunction to another level. If Chad hit Evelyn, he was wrong. If Evelyn hit Chad, she was wrong. But somehow, I have the feeling this will be described as an “argument”, a “misunderstanding”  and that’s what bothers me the most. Misunderstandings come when we forget to pick up something from the store for our man. Headbutting is actually intending it hurt someone because you don’t have the social skills to resolve conflict in a civilized manner. There’s so many ways to touch this subject, but domestic abuse is never acceptable and never will be. I’m getting tired of people hitting on each other and it’s time to make it stop. Please seek a counselor if you are being hit on, pushed, shoved and STOP seeing any man or woman who behaves in this manner. You deserve better. And you can have better. And your safety and well-being more important than any “misunderstanding” that could ever occur.